Date #24, Part 1, Re-introduction.
Warning. Pure scary vulnerability ahead.
On 11/24/2018, I completed my 20th date and blogged about it.
95 days later…
It’s been 3 months since I’ve blogged about my 30 dates and today I decided to shut up and finish.
The breeze is blowing as I sit outside and I think about how sincerely excited I am to pick up right where I left off.
But what the heck happened?
Over the past couple of months, I have attempted to continue this journey but kept coming up short.
Why? In all honesty, everything I want to say here to explain why I haven’t posted in 3 months or why I haven’t completed a project I was so excited about, doesn’t matter.
Becuase they are all excuses. Perhaps with a side of fear.
The bottom line is, I got ahead of myself and I got in my own way.
By the time I got to my 21st date, I began to get caught up in the future of my idea and the concept more than the purpose. I forgot about WHY I was doing this and started to look at HOW can I grow this idea into a movement. In this case, I began strategizing before my idea was even truly birthed.
It was like I was halfway through child labor and decided to yell the doctor, “HEY! Just keep her there, half-way inside me and I’ll find a way to breastfeed and nurture her from here. I got this!”
I haven’t finished my experience yet. I didn’t complete the personal goal I set FOR MYSELF. Not for anyone else or for my business. For me. And yet, I was already trying to package it up with a bow.
As a result, I stunted my growth. I jipped myself. And guess what? I got caught up in logistics, became overwhelmed, and got the classic “paralysis by analysis” disease.
It started to become hard and I began making excuses. Little by little, I let my idea and my 30-date journey come to a standstill.
So now I have a choice. Actually a few.
1.) I can tell myself I am a loser who gives up and never completes anything.
2.) I can continue my 30-date journey, pretend nothing happened, complete my next 10 dates and blog about it and be done. I did it. Let’s move on.
3.) Choose the experiment and what it is actually supposed to accomplish over everything else.
I choose #3.
You see, the whole purpose of dating yourself for 30 dates is the chance to find out who you really are at the core.
What do you like to do for fun?
What do you like about yourself?
What makes you tick?
What brings you to life?
What do you need to see within yourself?
Where do you need improvement?
Where do you shine?
How can you show up in your life as YOU? And how can you do that better?
I have an old story and belief of myself that I’m a quitter and I never follow through on my ideas and goals. That I’ll always mediocre in life because I can’t finish what I started.
When this old story of mine isn’t in the garbage can and decides to peak it’s head out to say WHATZZZZ UPPP!, it must be shot down right away. And I usually do that. Because if it’s fed in any way, it begins to grow.
This time I listened. And I fed myself this story. Down that road, I went… Making it harder and harder to say shut the F up to it.
I also found myself in a situation I needed to confront with the truth. The truth can hurt others, but it can hurt ourselves, even more, when we’re lying to ourselves.
By shedding light on our truths, we can begin to heal and move on. Even when it’s hard.
With anything in life and business, this exact example is why it’s so important to not only know who you are but also to have the tools and plans in place to keep yourself on the right path.
It’s been a long time since I choose to believe a lie. But this experiment reminded me that I still have to be conscious of old beliefs and to keep strengthen my new ones. My beliefs that are the true.
Life happens. But we can evolve. I may have paused on this experiment for a little longer (OK! A lot longer) than I would have liked, but I didn’t give up. I didn’t throw in the towel and tell myself horrible things that just aren’t true. Missing a goal doesn’t define me. What I do next does.
And I must say I’m pretty confident that when I hit a set back in my next big goal or idea, I won’t wait 3-months to pick it back up.
That’s growth. That’s embracing mistakes.
It’s not failure. It’s an opportunity to learn so it doesn’t happen the next time around.
It’s not kicking yourself while your down. It’s picking yourself up and moving on.
My wish for you in this 30-date journey is that you’ll learn so much more about yourself than you ever imagined. That it’s not just about finding out if you like hot dogs or hamburgers better or if you’d rather go to the movies or go canoeing. (Hamburgers! Canoeing!)
It’s about stripping down your layers to the depth of you and being able to stand strong in who you are.
It’s also about being real.
My goal in this experiment was to be vulnerable in the process and share with you how I did it with pure honesty. Because one day you may choose to go on this journey with me and find yourself experiencing something similar and want to quit. Then, you’ll remember this post. You’ll remember there are others who have that struggle too. (Ohh!…Over here! Me! Me!)
Hopefully, once you realize you don’t have to quit, it will only take you a few days to pick yourself back up and keep going… Instead of 3 months like it did for me.
Problems, trials, hiccups, roadblocks, dealing with people, and all the wrenches life will throw at us is inevitable. Life isn’t perfect so the best way to face problems head-on is to know who you are and take that knowledge to solve it effectively, with as little of a shit-show as possible.
I may not have my shit together all the time, but I am certainly not a loser who gives up.
And with that, here is DATE #24 – FREEDOM…
(To be continued… Please see Date #24, Part 2, that will post tomorrow, 2/26)
If you would like to continue following my 30-Dates journey and don’t want to miss any 30-Dates with Yourself updates, please use the link below to keep up to date with me 🙂
In addition, if you would like to know more about how dating yourself for 30-dates can help you become a better you, I am looking for 15 women to be part of a PRIVATE testing group I’m launching next month. Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you would like to be a part of this exciting experiment and I will send you more details. Much Love.